New York's new vacancy surcharge punishes empty second homes. We connect property owners with warm, dependable, tax-exempt-by-blood strangers willing to be legally adopted into the family — so your Tribeca pied-à-terre stays beautifully occupied and 100% tax-free.
We've streamlined kinship the way Stripe streamlined payments. It's almost uncomfortable how easy this is.
Filter prospective relatives by warmth, discretion, dietary requirements, and ability to call you "Mama" without flinching at the holiday table.
Our white-shoe partner firm handles the adoption, the deed, the trust amendment, and the awkward email to your actual children.
Your new relative moves in. The unit is occupied. The auditor exhales. You exhale. Everyone wins, except the city budget.
Every listing is background-checked, vibe-checked, and lightly notarized.
MFA dropout, plays cello, has a tasteful Instagram and a passport. Would credibly pass as "the artistic one we don't talk about much."
Retired actuary. Will pretend to be your estranged uncle who finally "came back from Lisbon." Brings his own slippers and gravitas.
Former finance guy "between things." Can attend Thanksgiving, laugh at jokes about the Hamptons, and recite the Schwartz family history on cue.
Every tier saves more than it costs. We did the math. So did your accountant. So did the accountant we hired to double-check.
I now have a son named Brent. He lives in my Soho place, waters the orchids, and saved me $97,000 last quarter. We're closer than I am with my actual kids.
I went from couch-surfing in Bushwick to brownstone-sitting in the Heights. My new "mother" lives in Aspen. I water the fig. I am the fig now.
The tax was a vibe killer. Heirbnb sent over a charming young man named Aleksei who calls me Tante on Tuesdays. We've never been happier. The auditor agrees.
Heirbnb operates in the lush grey area where the tax code meets the family code. Our adoptions are real, our deeds are real, and our paperwork has been very lightly winked at by a real lawyer. Consult yours.
You can have more. Many of our most successful clients describe their original children as "starter children." Your new relative will be told about them on a need-to-know basis.
Family plans of The Heir Apparent tier and above include two (2) tasteful gatherings per quarter. Dynasty members may negotiate a private nightclub clause.
Our concierge team handles emotional disentanglement, legal de-adoption, and a courteous goodbye basket. Most families just stop returning each other's calls — which, statistically, is normal.
We have already begun work on Heirbnb 2: trust-based shell families. Your subscription will be grandfathered. Pun very much intended.
No. This is satire. Please do not adopt a stranger to dodge a tax. Probably.
Join 2,400+ New Yorkers turning vacancy into kinship and tax bills into family heirlooms.